Revision 5.1 / May 29, 2012
My name is Jen Simmons Clarke.
I live with my husband, Brian. We were together almost eight years before we got married April 14, 2012. (Wanna see some photos?)
We have two cats named Trish and Buddy. Should you stick around, you’ll hear a lot about them because they are cats and therefore in charge of my life. I talk to them regularly and sing them popular songs with the lyrics altered to be relevant to them. I promise I’m not crazy — or maybe I am. I’m in my late twenties. Most of those years have been spent here in Memphis, the rest were in New Orleans. I hope to move back there someday, if Brian ever obliges.
On December 7, 2011 I was laid off from my job as social media specialist at The Commercial Appeal newspaper. I was there for about a year before my position was eliminated. Prior to that, I worked at The Daily News, a smaller newspaper where I did a little bit of everything. What began as an internship after I graduated from the University of Memphis turned into my first “career job.” The first few years I worked there, I continued bartending one night a week and as needed. Waiting tables and bartending taught me a lot of what I know and understand about people.
I started blogging in college and have gone through countless domains in the ten years since then. This one’s lasted the longest — since 2005, I think. But what does it mean, you ask? Well, I’m about 5’2″ so I’m a bit of a half-pint. I know 5’2″ doesn’t seem that short, but it’s relative. Everyone I know is taller than me. Except my mother. At any rate, it’s given me a sympathetic appreciation for all things “mini.” Seems silly now that I think about it but there’s no turning back now. (insert jargon about personal brands and online identity here.)
I like to use words like “hogshead” and “braggadocio.” I never pass up an opportunity to make a pun. I met some of the coolest people I know online. I’m a “catch-up” sleeper even though I know it’s bad for me. I like a good bloody mary. I put Tony Chachere’s Cajun seasoning on everything I cook. Everything. I don’t ride my bike enough. I have a scar on my foot from falling in the ocean a couple summers ago. I’m sarcastic and sardonic. I wish SNL was funnier. I obsessively check Craigslist missed connections for gross stories, people I know, and gross stories involving people I know. Being in New Orleans when the Saints won the Super Bowl was one of the best weekends of my life. I don’t know how I functioned before I had an iPhone. I watch too much TV. I drive a Fit. I get way too worked up at basketball games. I curate a lunch blog. That’s about all you need to know about me.